AMSTERDAM &
MULTIGROOVE, Zandam, Holland
8 - 11 August 2003

Well that has got to be one of the funniest weekends Ive ever had. The Legendary Hardcore Ray lived up to his name and he ruled Amsterdam for the weekend.

Left work at 10:45 Friday morning, picked up Stereo Mike & Paul CNE on the way. Was canny excited and looking forward to the trip. Met a couple of mates in the pub in the airport, Ben & Keedy who were off to Ibiza for 2 weeks. Nice couple of pints to start the weekend off. Got a call of Boony who was already in Amsterdam. I thought they were arriving around the same time as us, but, my usual timelord time reading mistake occurred.

Our flight was delayed an hour, so we had a coule of more beers and a glass of wine and got talking to a lady & her Dad from Middlesbrough who live in Holland, canny people.

Flight took off around 12:45 I think.

Stereo Mike & Paul CNE in Newcastle Airport
 


We arrive in Amsterdam around 4pm. Off to Burger King and the toilet and Big Willy (Kit Williams) arrives to pick us up and we get the train to the Amsterdam Central. Met up with the guys who had travelled from Scotland, Boony, Hardcore Ray & Dippa, and also Jappo, Marco & Mario from Italy. Checked in the hotel and went to the pub.

Our hotel - Schagen!
    

We orders litre's of Amstel for 4.75 Euro and Paul comes out with "I dont want an Amstel, I want a Dutch beer", haha.

Lovely barmaid there, cute little nose I tell thee.

Boony, Mario, Jappo & Dippa at our local pub for the weekend

After a few more beers we decide to go sightseeing and for some food. Very busy place and lots of weirdo dodgy crackheads asking you for money & trying to sell you allsorts of chemicals. One guy came up to us and said "Please don't laugh at me, I am not French" ?!?

One of the funniest things we saw was this mad mobile peddling pub flying about the streets.There were about 6 people either side and under there seats were peddles and they were all peddling and drinking beer with music blasting out !

The incredible peddling pub

Amsterdam has lots of canal's & anals all over the place and 100s of mad boats go fleeing around playing music, with people dressed as sailors and some naked people.........

A weird looking backwards bike thing

The incredible backwards bog and its penguin like flusher and another wee wee netty
  

We stopped for some munch at a cafe type place. All the names sounded like you could only pronounce them if you were being sick backwards. One we could read, a local delicasy called 'Cheesy Crack'. I decided to get one and the bloke serving banged his head on a lamp and I got a fit of giggles and had to sit on the floor. He wasnt too impressed and snapped my Cheesy Crack. Bahh.

Local food - Cheesy crack?
 

We popped into a lap dancing bar, that was about 10 Euro to get in and about 15 Euro for a drink. It was packed and there were a couple of chicks on the pole gyrating and rubbing there patches in people's faces. Lots of lapdancers were sitting around and I was talking to one of them who was from Ireland, canny nice. Tried to get a free dance but she was having non of it like, hehe. 2 gay blokes came in and started rubbing there crotches together and we decided to leave !

Some of the guys went back to the hotel and just Me, Stereo Mike, Paul, Ray & Dippa went out to various pubs and looking at the women of the night in there pretty windows. We went back to the hotel around 11pm to try and get Boony up but he was being a lazy homo so some of us snorted a viagra and went back down the red light district, haha.

Lazy Boon the homo

Some of the ladies were stunning, dressed as nurses and allsorts. Some right boots aswell like, faces like cruished trampoline's. One looked like Claire from Steps and I was very tempted like! Lots of them fancied me as they were winking and smiling at me! We walked around in laps about 4 times and one kept taping on her window at me and opening her window and saying stuff like "come here, I want to fuck you". Phwaoor, well in there I was like. Lovely thing she was aswell.

Hardcore Ray was feeling the viagra and the big bone daddy wanted some action. He found a chick he wanted and went in while we went for another cool pint or 3. We couldnt find him when we'd finished so we walked around for a bit and had more beer, before I headed back to the hotel. Paul stayed out by himself and found an Irish bar and sat with the locals. When the pubs closed, they got the barman to fill up empty whiskey bottles with beer and took them back to the hotel.

At around 5am they heard Rays voice outside the hotel and looked out the window. He was standing there with 2 Chinese women of the night and one had there hand down his trousers, haha. Paul chucked the key out to him and he came in the hotel. After a few minutes he hadn't arrived in the room so Paul opened the door and Ray is standing on the stairs and 1 of the Chimese ladies was pulling his wadger and the other was watching. Paul shut the door and told Stereo to have a look. He opened the door and he was now getting his big Irish root sucked! After about 5 minutes Ray came in the room and walked across to the bathroom with his knob full on the bonk with a and the 2 Chinks followed him. One was about 50 and the other looked about 16. He then got another BJ in the bathroom and was trying to get the younger girl to lift her top up so he could see her boobies. After they left, Ray flicked his stoat coat onto the sink and went back out and boned a black hooker. Haha, what a guy !

Anyway, back to normality. Saturday was party day - Multigroove in Zandam.

We got up around lunch time and headed straight to our local bar for some beers and some food.

Jappo, Dippa, Marco, Mario & Big Willy went of to the party around 1pm to set up the live show and do a sound check etc.

After our dinners we went for a walk to the opposite end of Amsterdam and went to MidTown records. Ray got a few CDs and I got another copy of OGS - Paid In Full EP, one of my favourites for 5 Euro's. Nice. Desperate for a poo poo so had to dash to a Tallyfroots for a poopster.

Went for another wander in search of ballyclava's & face paint for the live show that was happenning at the party. Found a mad store that sold Samuri swords, army type stuff, bullet proof vests and Royal Mail shirts? Got some face paint & 2 bally clava's and also a magic plug to scare away mosquito's.

Walked about a bit more and saw loads of mad mime artist robot type people and a palace there where "The Queen of Amsterdam" lived according to Boony.

WEnt back to the hotel and got changed. Called up a mate, Liam, who used to live in Newcastle but lives in Den Haag now, and he came up with his friend, Femilena I think she was called, nice lady, and we gave them the 2 spare tickets we had. Also called another friend, Magoosha who was at this big techno parade in Rotterdam and she kindly drove over to Amsterdam to take us to the party. Nice, cheers pet!

The party started at 6pm (6am finish) and we arrived around 7:30pm. I had another attach of the poo poo's and had to drop me plop in the carpark.

Met Willy at the entrance who gave Me & Boony our VIP passes. The venue is huge, and only the outside area was open & playing music. All that hardstyle stuff which is just really gabba trance isn't it? Sounded quick good. Super loud sound system and around 1,000 people there already.

Dippa & Smurfy

Got some beer tokens (munts 2.20 Euro each) and we named them Spunta's after a mate in Newcastle. Willy kindly gave us a handfull too.

AVI file of people dancing (1.3 M)

Went to listen to Fierce Ruling Diva expecting an oldskool set but they played hardstyle also. There was no hardcore outside at all by this point.

I was wearing a GGMtop and a guy recognised it and started talking to me. Turns out he was studying in the UK for a short time and went to Species a few times. Canny lad called Albert. Also met Stinger.

Smurf onhis knee's and Albert standing on a box

Stereo Mike & Albert

Some new Dutch friends & Stereo Mike hogging the bird
    


11 o clock came and it was time to get changed for the PA at 11:30. Me & Boony were taking part in Jappo's PA (Lethal Insanity) by dancing around and fighting each other on stage for 30 minutes, while Jappo & Dippa scratched on seperate turntables and Marco played the guitar. The PA went really well and the crowd started going crazy for the hardcore & esepcially the last 2 tunes which were pretty fast. Nice!

I was trying to get Boony o punch me in the face coz I wanted my nose to bleep. But his gay hands wern't hard enough. We were kicking and pushing each other around and some people looked scared, hehe. I grabbed Boony by the kneck which is still hurting him.

Smurf & Boony
    . .

   . .

Marco
   . .

The 4,000 strong crowd during the PA

The incredible scratching Jappo
 

The incredible scratching Dippa !
  .

Stage antics damages

It was really hot on stage with those bally clava's on like ! At midnight the PA came to an end and the outside area closed, and another 3 or 4 area's opened up inside. Hardcore, Oldksool, hardstyle & some others.

Mario


Boony trys to get his ginger root out on stage


Big Kit Williams!


We get changed out of our overalls and go in search of more beer and meet more nice friendly Dutch folk.

Hardcore Ray went missing and we found him in the middle of the crowd in the hardcore room going mental, haha, Legend once again. Stereo Mike spent most of the time in the hardcore room too which had people like Buzz Fuzz, Nosferatu, Endymion, Jappo & Promo all playing. This room was the biggest inside with balcony's all round.

Me & Dippa went for a sit in the VIP area, a small room with blasting trance music playing and some comfy looking sofa's. We get a beer and sit down and the sofa's are actually plastic and sore on the botty. There was also a spinning floor with stools on it! Mental like.

Had a bit wander around, talking to various people, bit talk and daft carry on with Buzz Fuzz and his mad wife!. More wandering around and bumping into the people who came with us at random points. Paul saying he was going to get some whiskey to wake him up !

At this point I lost everyone and walked around for around an hour trying to find Big willy in the VIP room but just ended up walking in circles around the oldskool room! Music in here was excellent. Stuff like Terrapia and all European oldskool hardcore.

100s of beatiful women walking around half naked, grrrr. Moan Patch. Elbows & belly buttons galore!

Smurf, ???, Magoosha

Found Stereo Mike in the hardcore room near the DJ box and Jappo was playing.

Whats that shite Jappo is playing? Or is it his smelly arse again??

DJ Promo was late so Jappo went to find him and I dived in amongst his record box. Managed to play Extreme Terror & the fastest track of Kotzaak 0, hehe.

Smurf gets psyked up for his DJ set
  

Stinger, Smurf & Long Albert

Stinger & Smurfy

   

Mr Promo arrived and took over at around 5am and I wandered outside for some fresh air and use up all my Spunta's and got around 10 beers for the few of us that were still alive. The party ended around 6:30am and we said our goodbye's to our new friends and Magoosha took Me & Boon back to our hotel & dropped Liam & Friedlhume back to Den Haag. Cheers for your asistance Magoosha, who had about 30 different names allnight - Magoosha, Babooshka, Maragooshka, Producer andher real name is Malgosia I think, hehe.

Passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Got woken up at 3:30pm by Stereo and we gets up and heads for, guess it, yeah, the pub.

We have some food and sit here for most of the day getting drunk, Stereo being sick and watching the barmaids and weird locals walking passed. Then, all of a sudden, this old lady appeared who had a chin like Boony .....

 

Mr & Mrs Chin
 

AVI of Boons chin (1.6 M)

This lovely girl walked passed and sat down next to Aunty Boony and her friend to her photo. She must of been impressed with the Moon Chin.


Mr Funnel Head
  

We were all sitting and this guy comes and sits down with a girl. Boony says he looks like DJ Drokz and we thought nowt of it. Then Japop came out his room and the guy stood up and says "Hey Jappo". Ha it was Drokz!

It was around 6:30pm now and we decided to go for a Chinese and wake Ray up. Nothing had prepared us for what we saw when we opened the door to his hotel room........

  

hahaha, what a maniac. He fell asleep trying to pull the head of his stoat.

We shouted at him to wake u pand he woke up in a total daze and calmly tucked his tool into his kegs!

I had the shits as usual all weekend..

The Incredible Shitting Man strikes back
 

Ray with his clothes on ready for more hookers !!
 

Paul CNE
 

Lazy people sitting around when there is beer to be drank and women of thenight to look at !
  

The incredible belly button'd lday


And a nice elbow - My perfect woman


hmmm

Everyone gets motivated after some food and we meet William and head of to a different outdoor pub near the red light district for some beers and reminise on a mad weekend in Amsterdam and to laugh at Ray.

Toilet Tampon



The Incredible Thong'd Lady

Everyone heads back to the hotel and only Me, Stereo, Paul & Ray stay out and head off to an Irish bar near the hotel. My eye's sytart to close and I head back to the hotel around 12 when the pub closes while the others stay out.

Ray goes in search of paid love and gets 2 hookers, hehe, getting his total up to 6.

We get up around 8am and have a nice breakfast of a bacon pancake thing in the hotel bar, say our goodbye's to Willy, Jappo, Marco & Mario and we get the train to the airport.

A sign saying 'Ned Train' - especially for the Glasgow Weegies.

Most of the jounrney was spent laughing at Ray's antics. My sides are still hurting.

Dippa, Ray & Boony get there flight to Edinburgh & Me Paul & Stereo get ours back to the Toon.

A hole in the side of the plane


We were sitting right at the very back of the plane and on the flight was an old man who looked like Alf Garnett. He went to the bog and when he came out there was crap all over his trousers. Poor old fella. He went a 2nd time and got locked in the toilet, hahaha.

Finally arrived home around 3pm.

What a hillarious weekend! Ray has to come on every foreign adventure now, haha.

Many thanks to William for looking after us. We had a great time and the party was amazing.

Respectacles to Mr Jappo, Marco & Mario. Looking forward to the next live show when we will spill real blood, hehe.

Thanks to Magoosha for the lift to & from the party.

Hello to Liam & Meloonflower, Albert & his friends, Buzz Fuzz & his mad wife, Promo & everyone else's names who I forgot.

And a big shout out to the Legend Hardcore Ray for making the weekend, hahaha, MANIAC.

More photo's on the Multigroove website.

SMURF