Saturday 20th April 2002

Cold War 2, Winipeg, Canada

Had a great 5 days in Winipeg, Canada.

Main purpose of the visit was to play at Cold War 2 along with Number 9, Dermatitis, Harry Chan b2b Fishead, KGB, Fanny, Kasyl, Audioangel, Modulo-2 (PA), Dexx & eMCee Four20.

Set off at 4am UK time last Thursday morning, caught 6:20am flight from Newcastle to Amsterdam arriving around 8am UK time (9am Dutch time). Fairly long walk to the connection place, and a 2 hour wait so had a couple of large pints of Henieken, nice. Some strange things in the airport. 2 huge Indianna Jones lookalike statue's. sitting down with there backs to each other?? Alos, random cow statue's spread all over? and a Ronald McDonald sitting on a chair, with no McDonalds in sight? Thought I heard my name over the loud speaker, but ignored it. When I checked in at the gate, there was summick wrong wi me ticket, initials were wrong or something, so they had to change it.

Next was a very long flight to Miniapolis, USA. 8 hours 20 minutes or so. Sat next to a dude from Minapolis nad had a bit crack on with him. Canny bloke, shared amusing stories, slept a bit. In flight movie was Harry Potter (urgh!!!), anyone that knows me know I hate Harry Potter!! But to be fair, it wasnt that bad ! There was also something wi Robert Deniro in it, about a burglar, dunno what that was called. Very old air-stewardess's. Nice meal & a couple of beers. Gets to Miniepalis, 7 hours behind UK time. Had 1 hour to catch the final flight onto Winipeg. Huge cue at Customs as 400 people ust got of a flight from Tokyo and most needed translators. Eventually gets to the desk, barrage of questions, where you going, how long for, what job you do, blha blah, have you been on a farm in the past 3 weeks??? Are you visiting a farm in the next 3 weeks?!? Eh?. Reclami baggage, re-check it in, and run about 2 miles to the gate for Winipeg. Last on the plane. Stewardess looked like my Auntie Margie.

Winipeg flight took off. When it left the runway, there was a huge bang and loadsa cans of Pepsi came flying down the plane! Woosh, though Bin Laden was lurking. Complimentary packet of pretsels, yak. Asked for a Budweiser, 4 dollars she says. had no Canadian cash, so had a Pepseye.

Hour or so later, 15:30 arrived at Winipeg after 14 hours travelling time. Didnt feel to bad. No problems getting thru customs.

Greated by the host for the weekend, Ken KGB. Drove to the Beer Vendor, 24 bottles of beer. Nice!

Was amazed at how flat the PEG is, no hills at all and all the roads are straight! Fascinated by all the long cars & big trucks, and the cool wooden house's you see on various US TV shows. Canny.

Drank beer allday, met various people, Ryan (Tom Green, ha ha), Schmick (Kens housemate). Tried to watch Smackdown, but coudlnt find it on the TV, it was somewhere amongst those 900 channels!

At about 9pm everyone was wanting to go to a club. I was totally exhaused by this time (3am UK time), so I stayed and had a sleep. They all came back in a coulpe of hours and persuaded (ha ha) me to go back with them to meet various people. Felt OK after my power knap & the lushest Burger King Burgar I'd ever tasted, yum!

Club was OK, drum & bass, but not of the dark variety. Think it was DJs Slip & Slide? 2 white MCs MCing together. Wasnt too bad, enjoyed it for a change. Met lots of people, cant remember them now! Only stayed an hour or so and went back to drink more beers. Think I may of mumbled on for a while !

Friday, hmm, cant remmeber what happend. I think we went shopping and had a BBQ. Nice fat juicy stakes, nice. 100s of more beer! Moosehead being most memorable!!

Saturday - Party day, ha ha!
Ken & the boys had lots to do, so we went for lunch to Hooters, EXCELLENT!! What a place buy the way! Pretty waitresses in skimpy tops and tight orange shorts, MOAN PATCH. In the middle of the pub, there was a rope and one of them was swinging back & forth on it?! SOme dudes birthday and they made him to a mad dance on the bar. Nice pitcher of beer & nice chicken grill sarnie with hot '911' sauce. As we were leaving, Leah (Kens chick) said to the manager "If you can't guess were Smurf is from, can we have our bill fo rnothing?" So I said "ahreet mate, how yi dee-ing" or something. He guessed Liverpudlian at forst (waaa!), then said Manchester (waa waa !). Told him, but still had to pay, bahh.

Next was a search for Aftershock. Went to a beer shop and the wifey said it had been discontinued and recommended this other bottle called Shockmoose or something, so Me & Schmik got that. were going to have a swig in Leah's car, but its illegal to drink in cars and even illegal to have alchohol within reach of the driver. mad eh?

Gets to the club in the afternoon, place called Wellingtons.

Outside the club - Leah, Ken KGB, Adam? Shmick, Ryan (Tom Green)

Tom Greens truck

it wasnt open, so we went to the bar part of it to see the owner. Shmick bought me the worst beer in Canada he says, dunno what it was but it was pretty bad ! had a seat while they seeked out the owner. This mad native woman comes over, sort of Red Indian look-a-like "Hows it going man? You wanna come and join us?", totally frothing at the mouth & that. Asking me were I was from. I said Jamica. "Your not black" she says "I am, theres something wrong with your eye" I say. Then she asks if the guys are my boyfriends?!? had to go, told her I would be back in 10 minutes and would sit with them. Sharp exit.

In the club, everyone starts setting up, more beer. Schmick tries to ride a miniture bicycle along the bar, haha.

Sound system gets installed. Canny loud like !! Hippylike dude comes in and starts putting flyers up. Gets introduced and its Venetion Snares. looks a bit like Enticer, long hair and a beird, but not was scary, his name is Aaron too! Another dude there, I detect a Scottish twang amongs his Canadian tones, relaise its Fanny, ex Exploited. Starts getting tired, so had a sleep on a sofa. Woke up an hour later with a round table on me, haha.

Whose driving us back??

Around 8pm, schmick suggested we go visit the 'Gentlemans bar' across the street. So we head there with Brendon. They wouldnt lettuce in at first coz we had trainers on. I told the manager I had come 4,000 miles to see his naked ladies, so he lettuce in for 5 dollars. Then he asked me if I was 18?!? Gets some beers and take our seats in sniffers row. Nice. Took a while for a lady to come on, was OK, only stayed for 2 beers as Scmhik was playing first on the main room at 9pm. Todl the manager we would be back, so he stamped our hands with lips. nice.

Kendo

Back in the party, Schmik starts (attempts) to play his drum & bass set and says "Its not making sense, my head is skipping" or something like that. Totally pissed, so Ken had to play his records.

Schmik sitting there passing him records, which ran out after around 35 minutes so he says "Theres nothing more I can do here, lets go see some more naked ladies", adn we start signing along to a drum & bass tune "doo doo doo doo, doo doodoodoo Naked Ladies", ha ha! So the 3 of us go again for a couple of hours, canny! Schmik says "Why dont you get pissed so Ken can play your records aswell", haha.

Came back about 10;30 as I was due to play at 11:30 for hour & a half. there was a trance/acid PA on before me, and they finished at 11:15 so I played then. 30 mins of old Belgium sytyle ravey/techno for 30 minutes, then the rest mello Frenchcore Radium/Micropoint etc and not to hard hardcore gabba, getting a little crazy towards the end. Monitor kept overheating and had to get turned off a couple of times. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur and was mostly spent wrestling in the corner of the club. Getting powerbombed by Ken, elbow dropped from the bar by Schmick, double chokeslamming Fishead & Ken. mental. Got 100s of bruises. Really enjoyed the party, 2 rooms. Mixture of hardcore, drum & bass, trance, acid & old skool techno, nice variety that strangely works well. cant see that ever happenning over here !!

Back at Kens place for more madness and 100s more beer.

Leah & Brendon

Chick called Emma covered my face in blue rubber stamp with 'Confidential' on it. face was total blue, allover my arm, kneck & chest aswell ! Downloaded some Steps MP3s, ha.

Smurf gets stamped - MPEG

Got stuck in a washing machine

Captain Coathanger made a guest appearance with his sidekick Ken Coathanger, who got hung on a door.

Captain Coathanger arrives

Captain Coathanger & Leah

Kenneth Coathanger

Tried some red stiletoe's on, get one stuck, Leah had to help me out of them. Everyone seemed to pass out.

Brendan & Smurf attack Ken & Leah with a hoover - MPEG

Went to find Shmick. he was asleep with his head under his bed, then went to hide in his closet. Eventually got him - Then we get Schmick "hiya!" - MPEG

Me, Brendan & Schmick sat up till 10am drinking gin, the only booze in the house. yak!

Brendan gets stamped

Emma's rickety toes

Wave your feet in the air

Shmick steals Smurfs' bird

Shmick goes to bed

Passed out and woke up at 6pm, 1 hour before Backlash WWF PPV.

Couldnt face another beer, half watched Backlash and nobbed off 1am or so.

Monday, my last day. had a few beers before leaving, McDonalds & headed off for another 14 hours of travelling, arriving home 15:30 UK time on Tuesday totally knacked.

Many thanks to Ken & Schmick for there hsopitality. Shouts to everyone I met, surprisinglly can reember a lot of names: Leah the firework lady, Chris & Mel, Brandon, Ryan (Tom Green), Kurt, Adam, Fishead (still cant remeber meeting you!), Fanny, the girl with the 'blow jobs 25c sign' (so thats were all my change went?!), Emma for the stamp makeup, The Eminem guy I was rapping with, The drunk Native Woman, Marcel Boxman and everyone else I forgot.

Cheers for a excellent time, shame about the jet lag making me sleepy like !!